Attitude of Gratitude
Attitude of Gratitude. What even is that y’all? Is this just a cute saying for a tee shirt or sweater for Thanksgiving? Well, this is something I’ve been struggling with since September when I decided to start blogging again. I know, I know; it’s almost November, what am I talking about!? But let’s start at the beginning of this gratitude journey. It’s November of 2014 and you are about to marry the man of your dreams after a disaster of a first marriage, where I faced abuse and infidelity and being a mom to a small child. We were excited to take this next step in a journey of a lifetime with God as the center. We knew we wanted to have kids and wanted to start our own business among many other dreams. It’s now February of 2015 and you’re having health issue after health issue and in May of 2016 you have an emergency surgery to save your life. You’re now in debt with hospital bills, you don’t have a place of your own and decide to move to a new state and start over. December of 2016, You are in a new State, God has blessed you with a place of your own and life feels good. December 8, 2016, you take a pregnancy test and it comes back positive, only it’s faint. After 2 years trying to conceive, you rejoice and you feel relief because you finally stop feeling like something is wrong with you. December 11, 2016 you are getting ready for Sunday service and suddenly, blood is pouring down your legs and intense pain is shooting through your body and instead of going to church, you end up in the emergency room where they tell you such an early loss is not considered an actual pregnancy, they call it a chemical pregnancy and send you home. Fast forward, it’s now 2021 and still nothing. You pray and pray and pray some more, you’ve been diagnosed with PCOS and unexplained infertility. You are taking supplements and medications and you’re trusting God. On the outside, you are unshaken, unwavering and strong. On the inside, you’re broken, hurting, and feel alone. “At least you know you can get pregnant” or “Just stop trying, it will happen when you least expect it.” others say “You’re so selfish for not giving your daughter a sibling” not knowing the pain they cause in you, not knowing it’s not as simple as they say in your experience. Then October comes along, we are a month away from starting our fertility treatments and we have a faint positive pregnancy test yet again, and yet again, days later, it ends in blood and pain.
November comes along, you go through a process called IUI only for it to end in disaster, the meds make you feel horrible and IVF is way out of our budget. Heartache and depression rears its ugly head and you do your best to continue on. It’s now 2024 and your husband loses his job and slowly, you lose your home, your car, and phone. January 2025 we launch the far not challenge for free and people are getting their hands on it and while you feel great that people are reading the word of God, you can’t help but feel that your page is not being seen by those who wish to contribute to a small, Christian, family owned business. You start to worry about your finances and your prayer shifts to gratitude. You begin to thank God that you didn’t have the small babies in this mess of losing so much, you begin to thank God that you at least have air in your lungs, that your now 12 year old kid loves God, has been baptized (her choice) and has been seeking God and praying for new experiences with God. You start to thank God for your in-laws who took you in and that they us dearly.
You start to thank God that your life is in His hands and that he hasn’t lost control. Then February your husband is hired and by July, he’s offered a promotion with a pay increase! You start to see God working miracle after miracle. We have a car, an income and God too! Your heart is full and so you cry with your whole heart and all you can say is ”thank you, Lord”. October of 2025 The Lord has begun to do away with certain vocabulary in your life and you ask yourself the deep question: What does God want me to see? Proverbs 18:21 CSB says it this way, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit”. What kind of fruit are you eating from? I chose to eat from the fruit of life, so what do I need to do so that life is on my tongue? That’s where gratitude comes in. Gratitude is how we begin worshipping God! We can’t truly worship God if you are not grateful to God. You may ask, is thankfulness and gratitude the same? No. Thankfulness comes about from the appreciation of having received something or from a specific event. Gratitude is a deep appreciation for what you have in life, even when nothing in specific happened. Now, I’m not saying that being thankful is bad, but this is only a part or component of what we should express to God. Gratitude is a lifestyle we take in when we reflect on ALL God has done for us since the beginning of time until now. Our attitude must reflect what we preach. Being thankful to God is beautiful, but more is needed. How do we react to the “No” from God or the “Not Yet”? This time of year is perfect for that and that is why I have made this post. I acknowledge that I haven’t been active on this blog for 10 months, but now you can imagine why. We had been struggling with so much, however, we have not let the enemy take us out, we were temporarily distracted but now we know that this is what God has asked of us to do, to continue to proclaim his word to all! We have picked up our cross and are ready to continue, are you? Don’t forget to have gratitude on your journey and watch what God will do. If you need prayer, please feel free to comment down below, we are a family after-all and we believe in praying for our brothers and sisters in Christ. If you need a reminder to have this Attitude of Gratitude, stay tuned on our shop for a useful tool during this fall season to keep your eyes on Christ and remain grateful.
God bless and we love y’all,
Michelle Torres